Dorky Guffaw is a Chick Flick stud, according to
Monkee. So much so, that to augment his already tarred and feathered reputation vis-a-vis aforementioned genre of movies, he's also been privy to a surprise birthday present, details of which will be presented later in the post.
Dorky Guffaw had been to Mumbai in the last week of November 2007. This was when his famous brush with death took place while he was ejected out of a moving local train at Dadar station, over the heads of all the passengers standing at the doorway, by an irate mob that didn't like the way he looked. His parents wish they could do the same, but they'd have society to answer to.
During that same Mumbai trip, when he'd been hanging out with his friend, who has, incidentally been mentioned enough number of times to give one the impression that Dorky's being paid by said friend to advertise his blog, an incident took place that cemented Dorky's reputation as being the God of Chick Flicks.
Dorky's DVD collection included Wild Things and Cruel Intentions, because he adored and worshipped Denise Richards, Neve Campbell, Selma Blair (yeah yeah) and was just struck by the idea of prep schools so much, having studied in a school with an apparently funny name, that he permanently borrowed the DVD from a friend of his.
In addition to the two movies mentioned, the DVD also contained this movie titled
How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, the starting credits of which Dorky was able to identify with consummate ease, since this was the first movie in the DVD set, and the stupid pirated DVD did not have the initial screens which would lead one to the menu to choose one among the listed movies.
Hence, every single time Dorky had to watch any of the other movies on the disc, he'd have to see the starting credits of aforesaid movie before he was allowed to proceed. Having done this on a few occasions, it was but natural for him to be able to recognize the movie based on its starting credits, just the same way as anyone who's seen enough movies can recognize the 20th Century Fox music, having seen it umpteen times before the start of so many movies.
One of the few movies that Dorky actually knew well enough was Forrest Gump, which he'd seen so many times that he'd be able to mouth the dialogues of the movie in his sleep, for even his subconscious knew the entire movie end to end. Come to think of it, Forrest was a Dorky as well, except for that he was additionally multi-talented and made lots of money, aspects that Dorky is woefully unaware of.
In the last week of November 2007, Dorky had visited Monkee to hang out with him. During this trip, Monkee was holed up in some posh dwellings in Mumbai, courtesy of his esteemed employers who took great care of him and Dorky had planned to crash there during his trip that lasted two days and one night.
Dorky chanced upon some CDs in an unused compartment of the closet in Monkee's room where Dorky was intending to keep his backpack, rather than leave it on the floor. Finding two CDs with potentially questionable content led both of them to play the guessing game, something Dorky does out of habit before he is able to see the contents of a package or something similar.
Monkee, in his trademark manner said that it probably contained some pirated visual studio installer left there by some retarded techie. His vitriol against most IT firms, especially the 'SWITCH' companies (Satyam | Wipro | Infosys | TCS | Cognizant | HCL) will invariably result in his being abducted by those companies, who, for a change will outsource that task to
some organization like the Taliban or the LeT those people who are in the free pool (a.k.a bench) in those respective companies.
On the other hand, Dorky said that it contained some gruesome video of how someone who'd previously occupied the room had been murdered, and that they'd die once they saw it as well. I guess he was inspired by the plot of 'The Ring'.
In any case, the minute they put the disc into the computer, and the familiar opening credits that he had seen on so many occasions were splashed on screen, like the fraud quizzer he is, Dorky shouted out the answer even though no question was asked, which resulted in his being labelled the God of Chick Flicks.
The belated birthday present he received, as a result, has been Samantha Cook's 'Rough Guide to Chick Flicks', which contains enough information and trivia for Dorky to make himself at home in any gathering of women who're interested in movies that strike a chord with them. However, he plans to do no such thing, and would rather let his hidden knowledge serve him on occasions where it matters the most.
What occasion(s) may come, only Dorky knows, I suspect.
