Trick or Treat ? "Meh."
In true customary fits of arbitness that the owner of this blag is prone to under normal circumstances, he has chosen to write this post in third person.
Call it a strong inclination to not write in a hitherto observed manner, call it an overdose of Asterix comics featuring Julius Ceasar where the subject in question also refers to himself in the third person, name and all, call it the blog owner's need to satiate the reader's need for reading the same garbage over and over again, albeit packaged differently each time or call it Ishmael, your call.
The blog owner, who will henceforth be referred to in the third person singular pronoun (he / him - in lowercase ONLY) turns 25 tomorrow. Yeah, its time for you, dear reader, to acknowledge that and wish him, should you choose to. The thing is, he's not really too keen on your wishes, and this post is being written for posterity simply because its nice to reflect on one's thoughts a few years down the line.
He thinks his archived posts are really fun to read, narcissistic or egotistic though it might sound. He wants this post also to fall under the aforementioned category.
Now, he's not particularly excited about turning 25. On being asked to make a statement to the general public regarding this supposedly monumentous occasion, he had this to say - umm...ahh...ah ha! Meh.
Maybe he also said it because its an intensely private emotion that he'd like to keep to himself and celebrate and enjoy it with those close around him rather than get screen printed t-shirts about it each time he finishes another complete revolution around the sun or go engage in something other than acts of random kindness, it is something for you to figure out, but he's sure its futile to write beyond this paragraph because he thinks he's lost your attention already.
Turning 25 is not a big deal. Turning 18 is. Then one can sing that Bryan Adams song '18 till I die' and mean it. Its eligible to be sung only by those above 18. If you're a 15 year old singing '18 till I die' like you mean it, you have acromegaly, and it is imperative that you get a medical check up. Go on, the rest of the blog is for adults only, anyway. 18 also gives you the right to vote, the right to drive a geared motor vehicle of any sort, and to watch adult movies, though it has been proven statistically that more sub-18s watch stuff meant for the above 18 year olds.
Turning 21 is a big deal. Now you can sing '1921' by The Who, because even though the song title is misleading, the song is all about how Pete Townshend feels that '21 is a good year, and by the principles of self-interpretation of any situation to suit your convenience, one could also assume that this is a song for a 21 year old. In addition, if you are a guy, you can get married and if you are a girl, you could be having your third child post matrimony (in theory), should your need to have great-great-great grandkids and SEE them while you're still alive is so very strong. Also, one can elope in a manner similar to a Hindi movie starring Aamir Khan and Juhi Chawla, and then commit harakiri simply because the script demanded so.
Turning 25, however, awards you no such privileges. No dramatic deaths, no extra incentives, no confetti parades (thankfully) and no pay hikes. It earmarks what the Times of India or the Bangalore Mirror calls a quarter-life crisis, especially for those like him, who've been trying to find themselves for so long, with varying degrees of success.
When asked about how he is going to deal with the possible onset of a quarter life crisis, he had this to say - 'Meh'.
He is alarmed about the possible onset of relatives who would now be hounding him as a last resort to get some poor unsuspecting girl married off to him, after every other guy who is more eligible than him has rejected the said person on various grounds.
It is widely claimed and acknowledged among those of his community that despite his apparent reputation of being a 'software engineer', that he associates himself with 'musician types' and other such riff-raff and is 'anti-social' and is consequently probably going to turn up as a match only if one were to try and scrape the bottom of the barrel one last time, and the upturn it, give it a vigorous shake, to see what might've been stuck there.
The other alarming prospect that fills each of his two hundred and six bones with dread is dealing with birthday wishes which are invariably followed by the statement - 'Where is the treat?'. He understands perfectly the sentiment behind the wish, and can acknowledge it gratefully with extreme courtesy, politeness, a brilliant 28-teeth Pepsodent smile, but the request that follows it is baffling.
He is of the opinion that this is similar to a guy speaking to a girl and exchanging perfunctory greetings with her on a few occasions, and then randomly saying - 'You're beautiful, will you marry me?'. Its almost as if the guy expects the girl to marry him simply because he said she was beautiful.
If you want a treat, it should be accompanied by a present. Or else you should not ask for one. That is a sure-fire way of making him treat you, because he's a big fan of this whole reverse-psychology thing. Plus he's already got a treat white list, and these special people will be treated no matter what. Its his way of being able to spend time with them when he can if he can.
The whole 25 thing is not bothering him one bit. He's sure that the next 25 years will be as eventful if not more, if he has any say in how circumstances will transpire.
To quote Longfellow from 'A Psalm of Life':
Call it a strong inclination to not write in a hitherto observed manner, call it an overdose of Asterix comics featuring Julius Ceasar where the subject in question also refers to himself in the third person, name and all, call it the blog owner's need to satiate the reader's need for reading the same garbage over and over again, albeit packaged differently each time or call it Ishmael, your call.
The blog owner, who will henceforth be referred to in the third person singular pronoun (he / him - in lowercase ONLY) turns 25 tomorrow. Yeah, its time for you, dear reader, to acknowledge that and wish him, should you choose to. The thing is, he's not really too keen on your wishes, and this post is being written for posterity simply because its nice to reflect on one's thoughts a few years down the line.
He thinks his archived posts are really fun to read, narcissistic or egotistic though it might sound. He wants this post also to fall under the aforementioned category.
Now, he's not particularly excited about turning 25. On being asked to make a statement to the general public regarding this supposedly monumentous occasion, he had this to say - umm...ahh...ah ha! Meh.
Maybe he also said it because its an intensely private emotion that he'd like to keep to himself and celebrate and enjoy it with those close around him rather than get screen printed t-shirts about it each time he finishes another complete revolution around the sun or go engage in something other than acts of random kindness, it is something for you to figure out, but he's sure its futile to write beyond this paragraph because he thinks he's lost your attention already.
Turning 25 is not a big deal. Turning 18 is. Then one can sing that Bryan Adams song '18 till I die' and mean it. Its eligible to be sung only by those above 18. If you're a 15 year old singing '18 till I die' like you mean it, you have acromegaly, and it is imperative that you get a medical check up. Go on, the rest of the blog is for adults only, anyway. 18 also gives you the right to vote, the right to drive a geared motor vehicle of any sort, and to watch adult movies, though it has been proven statistically that more sub-18s watch stuff meant for the above 18 year olds.
Turning 21 is a big deal. Now you can sing '1921' by The Who, because even though the song title is misleading, the song is all about how Pete Townshend feels that '21 is a good year, and by the principles of self-interpretation of any situation to suit your convenience, one could also assume that this is a song for a 21 year old. In addition, if you are a guy, you can get married and if you are a girl, you could be having your third child post matrimony (in theory), should your need to have great-great-great grandkids and SEE them while you're still alive is so very strong. Also, one can elope in a manner similar to a Hindi movie starring Aamir Khan and Juhi Chawla, and then commit harakiri simply because the script demanded so.
Turning 25, however, awards you no such privileges. No dramatic deaths, no extra incentives, no confetti parades (thankfully) and no pay hikes. It earmarks what the Times of India or the Bangalore Mirror calls a quarter-life crisis, especially for those like him, who've been trying to find themselves for so long, with varying degrees of success.
When asked about how he is going to deal with the possible onset of a quarter life crisis, he had this to say - 'Meh'.
He is alarmed about the possible onset of relatives who would now be hounding him as a last resort to get some poor unsuspecting girl married off to him, after every other guy who is more eligible than him has rejected the said person on various grounds.
It is widely claimed and acknowledged among those of his community that despite his apparent reputation of being a 'software engineer', that he associates himself with 'musician types' and other such riff-raff and is 'anti-social' and is consequently probably going to turn up as a match only if one were to try and scrape the bottom of the barrel one last time, and the upturn it, give it a vigorous shake, to see what might've been stuck there.
The other alarming prospect that fills each of his two hundred and six bones with dread is dealing with birthday wishes which are invariably followed by the statement - 'Where is the treat?'. He understands perfectly the sentiment behind the wish, and can acknowledge it gratefully with extreme courtesy, politeness, a brilliant 28-teeth Pepsodent smile, but the request that follows it is baffling.
He is of the opinion that this is similar to a guy speaking to a girl and exchanging perfunctory greetings with her on a few occasions, and then randomly saying - 'You're beautiful, will you marry me?'. Its almost as if the guy expects the girl to marry him simply because he said she was beautiful.
If you want a treat, it should be accompanied by a present. Or else you should not ask for one. That is a sure-fire way of making him treat you, because he's a big fan of this whole reverse-psychology thing. Plus he's already got a treat white list, and these special people will be treated no matter what. Its his way of being able to spend time with them when he can if he can.
The whole 25 thing is not bothering him one bit. He's sure that the next 25 years will be as eventful if not more, if he has any say in how circumstances will transpire.
To quote Longfellow from 'A Psalm of Life':
Let us then be up and waiting
with a heart for any fate
Still achieving, still pursuing
Learn to labour and to wait.
with a heart for any fate
Still achieving, still pursuing
Learn to labour and to wait.
PS - Comments disabled for this post. he is more comfortable this way.
Dear Blog, I stuck to my word. I hope you will give this post a 5.5 on 10.
Dear Blog, I stuck to my word. I hope you will give this post a 5.5 on 10.
posted by Hari Shenoy @ 12:31 AM
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