Awesomeness Quotient
Here's the thing. You've heard of EQ, IQ, HQ, BenQ and Q in contexts related to emotions, intelligence or its absolute lack thereof, headquarters, consumer electronics and MI6 respectively. However, what you are about to get to know today might change your life in ways beyond comprehension.
Having unleashed the power of Meh, after having been introduced to this concept by quite a few people during my travels beyond a few oceans and quite a large number of seas and other assorted water bodies, I now present to you the AQ - Awesomeness Quotient, something that is guaranteed to change your life for the better, should you embrace this concept of mine with an open mind.
Sure, you'd have probably heard of the AQ before, but no Alexander Graham Bell shall upstage this Elisha Gray, and you shall be initiated into the wonderful ways of the AQ by the sentient one that propounded the concept, rather than someone who'd give you an ersatz, less awesome version of the facts.
The operative word for this entire post, as you might have guessed is 'awesome', along with all its derivatives in adverb and adjective forms. If you thought it was quotient go to the * (starred) segment directly, and skip reading through the rest of this post.
A person's AQ, as you can guess, is a relative term used to refer to how awesome a particular person is vis-à-vis someone else. Obviously, not everybody can be of the same levels of awesomeness. Then the world would be a boring place to live in. Imagine a world filled with CEOs. Not that CEOs are awesome by any stretch of anyone's imagination except for their own, but this is just an example to illustrate my point of view. Awesome example, eh? I know!
Most of these tests that determine a person's quotient would tend to put a person through a particular standardized test and then allocate them a number which would then be used to judge them in relation to others that have taken the test.
Awesomeness is not something that can be measured - its a vibe that can be felt within a short span of time and AQs are consequently awarded thereafter.
Let us all now be aware of the ground rules for AQs and their subsequent allocation to everyone on the planet.
1) The owner of this blog has an AQ of 300. That is the second-highest AQ for anyone in the universe. The only person to top his AQ is unaware of having done so, but said AQ topping was quite a landmark event nevertheless.
2) AQs can be allocated by me to people whose AQ is perceptibly lower than mine. Note that 'perceptibly' was just a place holder I put in to showcase how awesome my polysyllabic vocabulary is. You can get the entire meaning of that sentence by remaining oblivious to the use of that particular word.
3) So far as others are concerned, AQs can be awarded once they have received their AQs from me. It is to be noted that if I have allocated you an AQ, and you would in turn allocate someone else with an AQ, it has to be lower than yours. For instance, I give you an AQ of 280. You can then give someone else an AQ of 279 or less.
4) You CANNOT give anyone an AQ higher than yours. The only exception to this rule has been carried out once, before the entire rule system was put into place and awesomeness hadn't yet been reined in, and was running amok in all the parallel universes in creation. However, if you do end up having a brain fart, you will lose your AQ and will be relegated to being a Roadie.
5) *(For those that thought the operative word for this post was 'quotient'. Also for those that thought they could get toocleverbyhaf and give someone a higher AQ) Just like Lucifer fell from Grace and let Will take over instead to redefine television in a yucky way, your transgressions, if any will make you lose your AQ and you will end up being a Roadie.
Then you'd have to appear in TV shows, have the whole world make fun of you, fall off bikes, have two sex change operations in a row, use more curse words in two minutes than there were in all of 'Scarface' prior to its editing, and render yourself incapable of any logical activities, all in the name of the 'Roadies Spirit'. Needless to say, you will be stripped of all your other attributes such as IQ and EQ.
(Ok, I admit to being jealous of Roadies. Seriously. Wouldn't you be too? Hence the vitriol. They rock! Facetiousness has a new name.)
That takes care of the ground rules for AQs. There will be a small update on AQ usage in a day or two, once the author of this post can do an impact assessment to see how the world has changed upon his having unleashed said concept.
Until then, stay awesome...like me!!!
Having unleashed the power of Meh, after having been introduced to this concept by quite a few people during my travels beyond a few oceans and quite a large number of seas and other assorted water bodies, I now present to you the AQ - Awesomeness Quotient, something that is guaranteed to change your life for the better, should you embrace this concept of mine with an open mind.
Sure, you'd have probably heard of the AQ before, but no Alexander Graham Bell shall upstage this Elisha Gray, and you shall be initiated into the wonderful ways of the AQ by the sentient one that propounded the concept, rather than someone who'd give you an ersatz, less awesome version of the facts.
The operative word for this entire post, as you might have guessed is 'awesome', along with all its derivatives in adverb and adjective forms. If you thought it was quotient go to the * (starred) segment directly, and skip reading through the rest of this post.
A person's AQ, as you can guess, is a relative term used to refer to how awesome a particular person is vis-à-vis someone else. Obviously, not everybody can be of the same levels of awesomeness. Then the world would be a boring place to live in. Imagine a world filled with CEOs. Not that CEOs are awesome by any stretch of anyone's imagination except for their own, but this is just an example to illustrate my point of view. Awesome example, eh? I know!
Most of these tests that determine a person's quotient would tend to put a person through a particular standardized test and then allocate them a number which would then be used to judge them in relation to others that have taken the test.
Awesomeness is not something that can be measured - its a vibe that can be felt within a short span of time and AQs are consequently awarded thereafter.
Let us all now be aware of the ground rules for AQs and their subsequent allocation to everyone on the planet.
1) The owner of this blog has an AQ of 300. That is the second-highest AQ for anyone in the universe. The only person to top his AQ is unaware of having done so, but said AQ topping was quite a landmark event nevertheless.
2) AQs can be allocated by me to people whose AQ is perceptibly lower than mine. Note that 'perceptibly' was just a place holder I put in to showcase how awesome my polysyllabic vocabulary is. You can get the entire meaning of that sentence by remaining oblivious to the use of that particular word.
3) So far as others are concerned, AQs can be awarded once they have received their AQs from me. It is to be noted that if I have allocated you an AQ, and you would in turn allocate someone else with an AQ, it has to be lower than yours. For instance, I give you an AQ of 280. You can then give someone else an AQ of 279 or less.
4) You CANNOT give anyone an AQ higher than yours. The only exception to this rule has been carried out once, before the entire rule system was put into place and awesomeness hadn't yet been reined in, and was running amok in all the parallel universes in creation. However, if you do end up having a brain fart, you will lose your AQ and will be relegated to being a Roadie.
5) *(For those that thought the operative word for this post was 'quotient'. Also for those that thought they could get toocleverbyhaf and give someone a higher AQ) Just like Lucifer fell from Grace and let Will take over instead to redefine television in a yucky way, your transgressions, if any will make you lose your AQ and you will end up being a Roadie.
Then you'd have to appear in TV shows, have the whole world make fun of you, fall off bikes, have two sex change operations in a row, use more curse words in two minutes than there were in all of 'Scarface' prior to its editing, and render yourself incapable of any logical activities, all in the name of the 'Roadies Spirit'. Needless to say, you will be stripped of all your other attributes such as IQ and EQ.
(Ok, I admit to being jealous of Roadies. Seriously. Wouldn't you be too? Hence the vitriol. They rock! Facetiousness has a new name.)
That takes care of the ground rules for AQs. There will be a small update on AQ usage in a day or two, once the author of this post can do an impact assessment to see how the world has changed upon his having unleashed said concept.
Until then, stay awesome...like me!!!
posted by Hari Shenoy @ 11:49 PM
4 Comments:
meh.
-ram
you know what, Guru Bhambi, this post is really good!
splendid, marvellous, fabulous.
(i won't say awesome since we had ostracised it from our vocab, if you recall. that way, this post is actually max brain fart. so you are a roadie now. hm... what an interesting turn of events.)
@ Ram - you're a roadie. Die.
@ Chettie - I am not a roadie. Please read the rules. Thank you very much, what a great audience.
ahem who scores more than you :O
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