Reality TV: Reloaded
First unleashed here.
Under circumstances where one is living on a budget that is not too stretchable, as I have mentioned in the prequel of this post, one has but to resort to cheaper alternatives of entertaining oneself, specially when everyone near and dear is not so near, although still extremely dear.
This is just a list of some of the weirdo shows that I actually wasted my precious time watching, because otherwise, I would be counting the number of seagulls on an emptying beach till late in the evening, courting disaster because they don't take too well to brown guys performing a census on them. How they found out I was a brown guy despite being colour blind is something I am still very perturbed about. Maybe it was the 'Cinthol' soap smell, or the third-world Axe deodorant odour.
I will never know.
Project Runway (site URL here, for those that have a deathwish. You've been warned):
Lots of designers, the top three of them vying for a show on some fashion event in the east coast in the US. Even the allegedly straight men in the show were pretending to be gay, and were immune to the decent looking models that they could feel up on the pretext of designing dresses for.
Its absolutely mortifying to listen to my red-blooded fellow men talking about stuff like 'this fabric is too macho' , or that 'your hair is not colour co-ordinated with your outfit, lets change the hair colour' and some such shit.
If you have checked out the site, heh, sucker. I told you so.
America's Top Model(here):
A show, predictably enough, about finding the next top model in the US. Beautiful women, parading on a ramp, with one of them being thrown out each episode.
How is it different from FTV???????
Oh! Its got them models talking here.
Total time spent on watching: 11 minutes. I particularly enjoyed the elimination part.
Wife Swap (google for it and look for the page yourself):
Two unlucky families in the US, who are actually stupid enough to apply for the show, end up with the women in the family being exchanged amongst households.
It usually involves two women from diametrically opposite backgrounds having their worlds turned topsy turvy. One of them typically is like the Indian housewife, doing all the household duties dutifully, and the other one is like a new-age woman who makes her husband do all the work all the time and is spoilt rotten.
Its actually fun to hear the children bitch, in extreme cuss words, about what a horrible bitch the new woman is.
The Bachelor:
I think this might have been shown on TV at home too, though I always had the Rajkumar kannada movie channels to keep me busy, preventing me, thankfully from watching such shit at home. No such luck in Norway. They haven't even heard of Dr.Raj, and I nearly went into blows with a white firang guy who mispronounced his name (intentionally, I think), in a discussion we had about the respective art and culture of our country.
The only thing that saved the firang was the fact that he was about three times my size, or else he would have had it.
This serial involves a supposedly eligible guy romancing hajjars of gullible and stupid women who want to find true love. How a woman can watch her prospective future husband romance other women and comment on all of them and talk about 'I have a strong positive connection with you, maybe we can explore this further physically when we go out on a romantic date in the hotel honeymoon suite tonight without our clothes on, in front of the camera on national television and brag about it the next day' with each and every single one of them, and still not want to pay him back for his philandering behaviour is a mystery to me.
The same goes for the situation had the tables been turned and a woman was romancing a whole kabbadi team full of guys.
The west is really decadent. Balls to all you wannabe Americans.
More power to monogamy.
Extreme Makeover USA:
A show where a lucky downtrodden family is selected, and they are given a complete makeover. Their house is demolished, and a new one is built for them. Their looks are changed by professional artists, who make them look better than they previously did. The show producers also give these people a huge some of money to tide them through until Armageddon arrives.
The show architects take only 7 days to rebuild and refurnish their entire house and make it look palatial and fill it up with the latest in amenities. Everyone is jumping for joy and is hunky-dory at the end of it all.
What then, do you think I hate about this show?? Pretty much everything from the start involves these people saying stuff like, 'the Robinsons were living in absolute poverty, but we can tear down their shitty house and make a new one for them'. 'How they can use a bathroom like that without throwing up while evacuating their other end is something I can't imagine.' 'Their clothes are so out-of-date.' 'How anyone can actually transport themselves to the next block using this antique is stuff for Ripley's.'
Absolute condescending behaviour. The makeover people are doing good, there is no doubt about it. But I don't understand why they can't shut the fuck up and do good without making such a big deal about the existing conditions of the Robinsons or the Mehtas.
Pride and ego really seems to have gone for a toss here. I, for one, would rather live in poverty and squalor, rather than have someone make things better for me and tell everyone how pathetic my life was before, and how ABC/CBS or some other arbit networking corporation has made things so much better.
Then there was this arbit show whose name I don't remember, involving two overweight families that competed for the duration of an entire month against each other to see who lost more weight.
How people can make fools of themselves and sleep at night, assuming they've become celebrities is really hard to digest.
Reality TV has now invaded desi drawing rooms too, and the mobile phone providers are rolling on the floor,laughing all the way to the bank with revenues made by gullible junta that is willing to squander upto 5 bucks an SMS on voting for their favourite artist. Their money, they can burn it up at will.
There is a reality TV show about every mundane aspect of a person's life. Next thing you know, there will be shows about.........damn, I can't actually think of something that hasn't been made into a show. There is one about an aspiring IT sector employee that is not a show per se, but was telecast on BBC World sometime ago. The inclination to make a show out of my life is consequently thrown out of the window, since someone has already done it.
What we need is retrogressive evolution, so far as our arbit television content is concerned. Hope it doesn't get any worse than this.
Under circumstances where one is living on a budget that is not too stretchable, as I have mentioned in the prequel of this post, one has but to resort to cheaper alternatives of entertaining oneself, specially when everyone near and dear is not so near, although still extremely dear.
This is just a list of some of the weirdo shows that I actually wasted my precious time watching, because otherwise, I would be counting the number of seagulls on an emptying beach till late in the evening, courting disaster because they don't take too well to brown guys performing a census on them. How they found out I was a brown guy despite being colour blind is something I am still very perturbed about. Maybe it was the 'Cinthol' soap smell, or the third-world Axe deodorant odour.
I will never know.
Project Runway (site URL here, for those that have a deathwish. You've been warned):
Lots of designers, the top three of them vying for a show on some fashion event in the east coast in the US. Even the allegedly straight men in the show were pretending to be gay, and were immune to the decent looking models that they could feel up on the pretext of designing dresses for.
Its absolutely mortifying to listen to my red-blooded fellow men talking about stuff like 'this fabric is too macho' , or that 'your hair is not colour co-ordinated with your outfit, lets change the hair colour' and some such shit.
If you have checked out the site, heh, sucker. I told you so.
America's Top Model(here):
A show, predictably enough, about finding the next top model in the US. Beautiful women, parading on a ramp, with one of them being thrown out each episode.
How is it different from FTV???????
Oh! Its got them models talking here.
Total time spent on watching: 11 minutes. I particularly enjoyed the elimination part.
Wife Swap (google for it and look for the page yourself):
Two unlucky families in the US, who are actually stupid enough to apply for the show, end up with the women in the family being exchanged amongst households.
It usually involves two women from diametrically opposite backgrounds having their worlds turned topsy turvy. One of them typically is like the Indian housewife, doing all the household duties dutifully, and the other one is like a new-age woman who makes her husband do all the work all the time and is spoilt rotten.
Its actually fun to hear the children bitch, in extreme cuss words, about what a horrible bitch the new woman is.
The Bachelor:
I think this might have been shown on TV at home too, though I always had the Rajkumar kannada movie channels to keep me busy, preventing me, thankfully from watching such shit at home. No such luck in Norway. They haven't even heard of Dr.Raj, and I nearly went into blows with a white firang guy who mispronounced his name (intentionally, I think), in a discussion we had about the respective art and culture of our country.
The only thing that saved the firang was the fact that he was about three times my size, or else he would have had it.
This serial involves a supposedly eligible guy romancing hajjars of gullible and stupid women who want to find true love. How a woman can watch her prospective future husband romance other women and comment on all of them and talk about 'I have a strong positive connection with you, maybe we can explore this further physically when we go out on a romantic date in the hotel honeymoon suite tonight without our clothes on, in front of the camera on national television and brag about it the next day' with each and every single one of them, and still not want to pay him back for his philandering behaviour is a mystery to me.
The same goes for the situation had the tables been turned and a woman was romancing a whole kabbadi team full of guys.
The west is really decadent. Balls to all you wannabe Americans.
More power to monogamy.
Extreme Makeover USA:
A show where a lucky downtrodden family is selected, and they are given a complete makeover. Their house is demolished, and a new one is built for them. Their looks are changed by professional artists, who make them look better than they previously did. The show producers also give these people a huge some of money to tide them through until Armageddon arrives.
The show architects take only 7 days to rebuild and refurnish their entire house and make it look palatial and fill it up with the latest in amenities. Everyone is jumping for joy and is hunky-dory at the end of it all.
What then, do you think I hate about this show?? Pretty much everything from the start involves these people saying stuff like, 'the Robinsons were living in absolute poverty, but we can tear down their shitty house and make a new one for them'. 'How they can use a bathroom like that without throwing up while evacuating their other end is something I can't imagine.' 'Their clothes are so out-of-date.' 'How anyone can actually transport themselves to the next block using this antique is stuff for Ripley's.'
Absolute condescending behaviour. The makeover people are doing good, there is no doubt about it. But I don't understand why they can't shut the fuck up and do good without making such a big deal about the existing conditions of the Robinsons or the Mehtas.
Pride and ego really seems to have gone for a toss here. I, for one, would rather live in poverty and squalor, rather than have someone make things better for me and tell everyone how pathetic my life was before, and how ABC/CBS or some other arbit networking corporation has made things so much better.
Then there was this arbit show whose name I don't remember, involving two overweight families that competed for the duration of an entire month against each other to see who lost more weight.
How people can make fools of themselves and sleep at night, assuming they've become celebrities is really hard to digest.
Reality TV has now invaded desi drawing rooms too, and the mobile phone providers are rolling on the floor,laughing all the way to the bank with revenues made by gullible junta that is willing to squander upto 5 bucks an SMS on voting for their favourite artist. Their money, they can burn it up at will.
There is a reality TV show about every mundane aspect of a person's life. Next thing you know, there will be shows about.........damn, I can't actually think of something that hasn't been made into a show. There is one about an aspiring IT sector employee that is not a show per se, but was telecast on BBC World sometime ago. The inclination to make a show out of my life is consequently thrown out of the window, since someone has already done it.
What we need is retrogressive evolution, so far as our arbit television content is concerned. Hope it doesn't get any worse than this.
posted by Hari Shenoy @ 4:42 AM
3 Comments:
Dude...i was just thinking abt posting abt the same thing..the crazzzy Reality TV shows...I feel sick watchin some of them here.
The worst in my opinion..
- (I forgot the name) The show about 5 guys and 5 gals left stranded on an island..and wat happens after that.(horribleeeeeeeee)
And,
worst of all...
-'Sexual Healing': the show abt how couples who've lost the "spark" in their lives are coaxed and tutored (in ways dat make u puke - using sadomachism/objects/etc etc) into finding it again.
Someone killed TV.
Total time spent on watching: 11 minutes
is this like one of em purple vein dick jokes.jerk off
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
horrible.
p.s. deodorant
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