Things that make you go.....whoa!!!
There are wonderful things that a software engineer in a happening IT company gets to see in Bangalore. I generally equate women, specially the pretty ones with wonderful things. Of course, it is implicitly understood that wonderful things and IT company recruitment policies are mutually exclusive.
On an average, Mangalorean girls are the prettiest on the planet, with their freshly clean scrubbed look, sans the gaudy outfits and the three-inch thick layers of make up. They are the kinds that you'd wanna take home to your mother too, though most of them would consent only if you managed to imperius them.
The women in Bangalore on the other hand, are the kind who are supposedly the most sophisticated ones in the country, miles ahead of everyone else. The plethora of women in the top managements of most companies seems to just reinforce this fact.
Suave, sophisticated, mentally strong, they defy Mick Jagger when he sang "you can't always get what you want" many many times over.
It is also note to mention that they are very very good at taking care of themselves on a superficial level too, and after a thorough study of the female form which has taken up a whole lot of man hours on my part and those of the others who also boast of the inner eye for such things, we have arrived at the inescapable conclusion that even the 'slept-in' look that some women have, complete with messed up hair, and wrinkled clothes and an extremely casual style of walking involves a lot of preparation on the part of the subject in question. This is only reinforced by the fact that they look so so so very hot and attractive even in that look!
For all I know, thats probably the hottest look right now, hair gone awry, with a loose fitting sweater, a pair of jeans and some vague chappals, and all this just goes to give you yet another reason apart from the fact that I am fanatically non-homo a s to why I cannot give Prasad Bidapa or Rocky S or the other designers (a.k.a non straight people) out there a run for their money!
One of the most interesting things that I have seen is how low-cut most women's jeans have become, while contrastingly, their t-shirts have become shorter, ensuring that they give us more leeway to admire the work of art that is the female form. Sometimes, you get to see what colour their panties are, and the more smooth operators have actually met their future wives by starting off a conversation revolving around that very issue. Picture this conversation at a bar in Bangalore:
(the color of the garment has been masked to protect the identity of the people involved!)
Stud(S): hey lady, I couldn't help but notice that you're wearing ***** colour g-strings!
Belle(B): (chewing gum lazily) yeah? so what's your point?
S: I got the same thing on myself!!!!
B: you do? come on, lets go back to my apartment and make sweet love then!!!
S: (thinking to himself) "Praying to the ITPL Gods actually works!!!"
And Stud and Belle hook up, discover other common interests, have a lot of deep and meaningful monosyllabic conversations, get married, have a couple of kids, get a house in the sub-urbs and live happily ever after.
I am getting to be too too good at this romance thing, whatsay???
Anyway, I was travelling on a BTS bus towards Residency Road along with a couple of friends of mine, and I looked at something that made me miss dinner that day. We saw a guy with a medium sized potbelly, and a short t-shirt and low waist jeans.
An offensive stretch of brown skin, with stretch marks here and there, and that too on a dude, was just a bit too much to bear.
In retrospect, had I known what a deep psychological scar I would have had to deal with after just glancing at you-know-what, I would probably have not ventured outside of home that day!
There were a whole host of jokes about the anomaly sitting on the bus, one of which I have reproduced here, to try and divert your mind away from that morbid vision:
"Maybe he's just trying to fit in!"
I honestly can't remember the other ones. My mind is trying to use the smoke screen of selective amnesia so that I will not be traumatised and scarred for life.
I think I can use this excuse at the office to try and get away from work for yet another day!
I think I should try and end this post with something to justify the fact that there is a lot of good out there in the world, despite ugly fat men wearing low t-shirts and low cut jeans and venturing outside their mental detention center to psyche us out, and you can find solace and be at peace with yourself by watching a Mallika Sherawat movie. I wouldn't recommend any of the lesbian porn that I watched because I want to maintain a good-boy image.
Au revoir!
On an average, Mangalorean girls are the prettiest on the planet, with their freshly clean scrubbed look, sans the gaudy outfits and the three-inch thick layers of make up. They are the kinds that you'd wanna take home to your mother too, though most of them would consent only if you managed to imperius them.
The women in Bangalore on the other hand, are the kind who are supposedly the most sophisticated ones in the country, miles ahead of everyone else. The plethora of women in the top managements of most companies seems to just reinforce this fact.
Suave, sophisticated, mentally strong, they defy Mick Jagger when he sang "you can't always get what you want" many many times over.
It is also note to mention that they are very very good at taking care of themselves on a superficial level too, and after a thorough study of the female form which has taken up a whole lot of man hours on my part and those of the others who also boast of the inner eye for such things, we have arrived at the inescapable conclusion that even the 'slept-in' look that some women have, complete with messed up hair, and wrinkled clothes and an extremely casual style of walking involves a lot of preparation on the part of the subject in question. This is only reinforced by the fact that they look so so so very hot and attractive even in that look!
For all I know, thats probably the hottest look right now, hair gone awry, with a loose fitting sweater, a pair of jeans and some vague chappals, and all this just goes to give you yet another reason apart from the fact that I am fanatically non-homo a s to why I cannot give Prasad Bidapa or Rocky S or the other designers (a.k.a non straight people) out there a run for their money!
One of the most interesting things that I have seen is how low-cut most women's jeans have become, while contrastingly, their t-shirts have become shorter, ensuring that they give us more leeway to admire the work of art that is the female form. Sometimes, you get to see what colour their panties are, and the more smooth operators have actually met their future wives by starting off a conversation revolving around that very issue. Picture this conversation at a bar in Bangalore:
(the color of the garment has been masked to protect the identity of the people involved!)
Stud(S): hey lady, I couldn't help but notice that you're wearing ***** colour g-strings!
Belle(B): (chewing gum lazily) yeah? so what's your point?
S: I got the same thing on myself!!!!
B: you do? come on, lets go back to my apartment and make sweet love then!!!
S: (thinking to himself) "Praying to the ITPL Gods actually works!!!"
And Stud and Belle hook up, discover other common interests, have a lot of deep and meaningful monosyllabic conversations, get married, have a couple of kids, get a house in the sub-urbs and live happily ever after.
I am getting to be too too good at this romance thing, whatsay???
Anyway, I was travelling on a BTS bus towards Residency Road along with a couple of friends of mine, and I looked at something that made me miss dinner that day. We saw a guy with a medium sized potbelly, and a short t-shirt and low waist jeans.
An offensive stretch of brown skin, with stretch marks here and there, and that too on a dude, was just a bit too much to bear.
In retrospect, had I known what a deep psychological scar I would have had to deal with after just glancing at you-know-what, I would probably have not ventured outside of home that day!
There were a whole host of jokes about the anomaly sitting on the bus, one of which I have reproduced here, to try and divert your mind away from that morbid vision:
"Maybe he's just trying to fit in!"
I honestly can't remember the other ones. My mind is trying to use the smoke screen of selective amnesia so that I will not be traumatised and scarred for life.
I think I can use this excuse at the office to try and get away from work for yet another day!
I think I should try and end this post with something to justify the fact that there is a lot of good out there in the world, despite ugly fat men wearing low t-shirts and low cut jeans and venturing outside their mental detention center to psyche us out, and you can find solace and be at peace with yourself by watching a Mallika Sherawat movie. I wouldn't recommend any of the lesbian porn that I watched because I want to maintain a good-boy image.
Au revoir!
posted by Hari Shenoy @ 9:24 PM
3 Comments:
Au revoir, you mean. Yes, one of my pals (V) told me about his young hep B'lore cousin (W) who also wore such garments. V observed aloud that W's bums were visible and would he be so kind enough to shield his ass from public (pur)view n' got the retort, "But you shouldn't be looking!". :p
Btw, I concur on that "Mangalore babes are the best" bit.. Happened to be there a coupla months ago on my way to the Mookambika temple at Kollur. Though I embarked on the pilgrimage with religious intent, it wasn't free of items that caused the afore-mentioned intent to swerve, is all I can say..
If you want to know where to find the Rank2 babes in India, I suggest a visit to Thrissur, Kerala (you can put it on the pretext of 'authentic Kerala ayurvedic massage'. I daresay you will find more targets for apt usage of the "Nubile" word..
merci, mon ami.
corrected my faux pas!
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